the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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