Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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