Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
