That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
