theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
