Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
