we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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