he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
