I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You need Xanax blowdarts
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
