fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
