O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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