We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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