saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
