the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I wish i was in the wii world.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
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