He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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