i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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