If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
