I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
