The best revenge is premature balding
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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