If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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