Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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