Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
