So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
