Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
