Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
