Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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