Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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