I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
