What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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