Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
