AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
