I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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