Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
then he tried to convert me to islam
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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