I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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