Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
