I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It's never too late to be topless.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
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