guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
