Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
