i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
