just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
