Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So apparently I’m into choking now
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