omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
