try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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