we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My vagina is officially offended.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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