After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
