this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
the raccoons are back...
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