I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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