I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
