i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Its about making memories worth repressing
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
