End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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