i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
