well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
