My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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