so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
