I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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