butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize