So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
