I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
