i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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