this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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