You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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