Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize