I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
